Thursday, May 5, 2011

Thumb War

"We have four fingers and a thumb." Sazia (youngest sister). "OMG! I never knew that. New post inspiration." Me.

Lately, if anyone is asking about me...they're really asking about my thumb. And this thumb, for the past 5 months has kept me unhappy even though I've been enjoying the bliss of walking and healing. 

I grew an enemy. An ugly, painful, and a hard to get rid of...enemy. On my thumb. My first ever...WART.

At first the growth seemed harmless, but it was very much an inconvenience. No one likes going out with a bulge on their thumb...because trust me, people notice the bulge before they notice your face. It is also not fun to walk around with a "permanent dressing" AKA medical tape or band-aid wrapped precisely ruining the thumb's physique. When this wart hit me, I was pretty certain and suspicious that someone had cast some black magic shit on my thumb. I tend to be very superstitious when something crazy and out of the norm takes place...even though warts grow due to a viral infection known as the human papillomavirus. It sounds harmful but they're usually harmless - so my friends and anyone else who I might come into contact with: I'M HARMLESS. DON'T BE SCARED. I mean unless I had genital warts...that would be another story (genital warts are usually harmful). And I don't think I'd make a public announcement. Bottom line: someone's black magic had ruined my thumb.

I visited a dermatologist some time in March (I had surgery in January; bed rest until mid-March, just my luck!) and the doctor froze the wart with Liquid Nitrogen. I knew about liquid nitrogen thanks to Food Network. Top Chef contestant Richard Blais would always use liquid nitrogen to freeze foods at a quicker rate (ice cream). The same product was used on my thumb to freeze the infected tissue. The doctor specifically told me that it would sting, scab and fall right off. It didn't quite scab, but it popped and fell off (somehow). I was very excited, but my excitement didn't last because within two days I noticed a larger growth on my thumb. This time it was painful and hard like a rock. It just looked ugly. I began to self-medicate. 

I initially bought discrete band-aids that had wart medicine in the cushion part. I was overly-excited when buying them because I saw potential...but it was a fail. Don't ever buy medical supply that comes with "ointment" in the band-aid. Anyways, I didn't give up. I then went to the pharmacy and bought myself a freezing kit (liquid nitrogen) - the first treatment I had gotten. I thought, "Maybe I just need to freeze it a couple of times." So I froze the wart with liquid nitrogen...probably the coolest at-home medical experience. After the third attempt, all I noticed was a bigger and stronger wart. I still didn't give up. I looked online for home remedies...two of which I followed. The first one included apple cider vinegar, cotton swab, and medical tape. First of all, the apple cider vinegar I had bought was the first ever apple cider vinegar ever bought in my house. This shit stinks like ass/beer/death/feet. I just can't give a clear-cut description. The smell was horrendous. I tried to be strong and resist the smell, but after the third try I almost died...not literally, but my family was yelling the crap out of me. I couldn't go anywhere with the smell. Unhappy is the right word for how I felt. My last attempt was duct tape. Every night I changed the duct tape and I saw some hope. Skin was peeling off...and this was a good thing. At one point the wart calmed down a bit but before anything drastic happened, I went back to the dermatologist. 

The doctor examined my thumb and I explained the journey (above). She then gave me my options: freezing (again!), burning electrically, or using wart ointment and covering it with duct tape. I decided to burn it. The procedure was painful but you have no idea how joyous it was to see the burning smoke in the air. I didn't smell the burn...I smelled success.

There's a noticeable hole in my thumb and it looks as hideous as the wart, but after the reconstruction process I will have my thumb back!

What I've learned from all of this is that without my thumb...I would be a nobody. When holding a pen, spoon/fork, shampooing, to hold anything: you need your thumb. I may sound like an idiot right now, but this wart has made me realize how much I take my thumb for granted.

I will never take my thumb for granted. I love you thumb.


  1. That's one lucky thumb, getting all your attention =D But seriously, you should get this published in the school newspaper or something.

  2. Haha, it was definitely getting a lot of attention. And as for publishing, I don't know...but I'm flattered.

  3. Haha ... Your funny :)

  4. hahah shahana i agree with saira! you should write for the paper!! =)

  5. Thank you! Didn't know this post would receive so much attention.