Monday, February 7, 2011


February 5th is now behind us all. The day I was born. Born almost 10 pounds (fat-ass since birth) in weight. Weighed down on my father's arms. Arms that held me high and saw majesty. Majesty means Shahana or in today's terminology: Ms. Divaaa. Diva is now 20. Oh ma fuckin' Gawwwd.

I didn't think I'd be celebrating with crutches. But that's nothing. I actually didn't think I would make it to age 20. Negative, but in all positivity I'm alive bitchesss. I wake up every morning and no matter how cranky I am, no matter how much pain I feel... well, there are some days I'm in a good mood... my insides smile because I'm happy to be alive and living. My mother always tells me to thank Allah for each "blessed" day. And though I nudge her away, I secretly do thank him for life but also for my wonderful mother. Father. My two siblings. And my friends. Each and every single one of them.

Crutches or no crutches, celebration was on my mind. I partied with all my closest friends and family. Location: my house. Dress Code: black and white; except me, I wore blue and green. DJ: Hell yeaaaaaah. Photographer: Oh helllll yes. So in all, the party was pretty kickass. Mind you, I did not dance while standing. I sat the entire time and danced while sitting. Sounds pretty damn awkward, but I think it was a really good workout. My friends danced while circling around me doing some tribal shit. But it was all good. During the in-betweens of the party, we had small conversations and many of us learned new things: HASHTAGGING. This shit is annoying and I don't wanna get into further details about it. #Foreverwack. But if you don't know what it is, google it or ask Ruqayyah Batts (expert hashtagger). We further discussed Snookie's intelligence and the fact that the ocean is salty due to whale sperm, and if you don't believe it, "Google it!" and  no don't ask Ruqayyah Batts because she is not a sperm expert. And lastly, I brought up the Chinese KFC commercial in which an Obama look-alike addresses to the people: "Change, not only for your mom, but for you, your stomach, for a better taste!" This is a fish sandwich we're talking about. And at the end he's crushed by the fish sandwich. Some laughs but also some defensive comebacks from the Obama lovers. This is what adults talk about.

I had the tastiest cake: my favorite: strawberry cheesecake. Even though those bitches spelled my last name wrong, the cake was so was a bit messy and everyone was trying to feed me big spoonfuls of cheescake while the song "Say Aah" by Trey Songz was playing. And let me tell you something. It isn't fun eating big mounds of cheesecake while listening to someone sing "Open wide, I know you're thirsty. Say aah!"

In any case, I had the best time of my life. Being a crippled for the past 2 and some years has been amazing. I complain at times, but I have everything. More than everything. My friends, some say they're lucky I'm in their life. But the truth of the matter is, I'm lucky to have the friends I have. I'm lucky. Thank you all for supporting and celebrating with me. I fuckin' love you people.

So now that I'm done discussing the whole birthday shebang, a little more than 3 weeks have gone by since my surgery. About 5 more weeks of crutches. That will bring me to a total of 8 weeks, if you do the math right. For those who are probably thinking, "Damn, she is so lucky. She gets to stay home all day and in bed. I wish I was her." Avoid it. Don't ever wish such a wish. The days are passing by and I don't even know how they're passing. I've been watching some pretty shitty movies. Some were okay. The Descent 1, The Descent 2, For Colored Girls, Fame, Leap Year, Killers, Up, Despicable Me, The Kite Runner. This is quite an achievement because everyone thinks I stick to Bollywood. I've branched out a little even though I didn't miss any of the Indian award shows. Man, I love those! I finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns and The Kite Runner; currently enjoying How Does it Feel to be a Problem? I'm really digging Muslim authors right now and especially their stories. I'm taking movie and book recommendations! Please feel free to share.

Everyone has been coming to see me, but I've only visited one person: Dr. Sinha. He is my main man. X-Rays look good. My hip is healing and in 5 weeks, I'll be able to walk normal. Normal makes me feel so good. Maybe it's the word that I'm so dearly attached to, but I seriously don't remember the last time I walked up a staircase using both legs simultaneously. I've developed my own patterns of walking and going up the stairs. I just want to go up those damn stairs without being stared at. I hate it when people say, "Oh you wanna be normal. Well, we're all abnormal in this world." I don't know where you got that quote, but if you're walking and your limbs are there for you, holding you up, you are normal. Anyways, sorry for breaking it to you like that.

I feel good this about this year. I just turned 20. Two new hips. I'm gonna get shit done. And to all my friends reading, hit me up once in a while. And if you're going through issues and have no one to talk to, I will listen to or read what you have to say. I am willing to help a sista or a brotha out.

In that note, I will take my leave. Thanks for keepin' it real. I'm 20 bitchessssssssssssss.

Juicy like...
Tomer Madar originals.

1 comment:

  1. hahhaha love this! your posts are always so entertaining. i know i'm #odeelate tho. lol had to throw in the hash tag just for u! but seriously, keep writing, ur readers love it!