Monday, November 29, 2010

Friends, Food, and Fierce Times.

This is going to be a legit post. I haven't written in a long ass time and I've had the topics in mind but haven't had the time to just sit and write. I'VE BEEN LAZY. BUT I'VE ALSO BEEN HAVING SO MUCH FUCKIN' FUN. Don't mind the caps. The past few weeks and days have been filled with fun, fun, and more fun. For once the oh-so-infamous quote: "Live your life to the fullest," is true with me. I've been spending each day living as if it's my last. Okay, maybe not last, but I've been livin' it up and also drinkin' it up. I've realized "living" can mean different things to each person. To me it means to enjoy the company of friends and family (this can be iffy sometimes as some family and friends are a big BORE), go out and be somewhat reckless (but make sure your ass don't end up in jail, even though that would be an experience), eat good food at good restaurants (try KOSHER), minimal study time (but get your work done), and being a risk-taker or at least man-up to try new things.

My friends continuously poke me to mention them on my posts (trust me, it won't make you famous. And if I write about you, it will be something embarrassing!). But I love my friends. These people, too many to name (I'm fortunate to call many people my friend), don't judge on my disabilities and really make me feel special. Hence, why I'm such a diva. But without these boys and girls, I wouldn't be livin' it up as I am right now. Adventurous, smart, funny, dramatic, sometimes all, my friends are amazing.

However, before I talk about some past events, I'd like to update you on my health and academic situation. I'm only taking one class now, as I've dropped BIOLOGY and PHYSICS. Taking 'Women's Studies' is the best decision I've made in my academic career so far. As for my health, the MRI results for the left and right ankle show Avascular Necrosis - bone death A.K.A what I have on my shoulders, hips, and knees. The talus (foot bone), below the talus, and next to the talus are pretty fucked up. There is extreme deterioration in the bone. The left ankle is worse. The right, I'm managing without pain. Everyone is telling me to stay positive and optimistic, but I know I won't look good on a wheelchair. I'm certain about getting bone graft surgery on my right hip...but as for the ankles, surgery is uncommon especially when it comes to ankle replacement or even bone graft surgery. I'm in a complicated situation but let's see what happens.

During that week's appointment (11/17/10), Dr. Sinha suggested I get married and have a baby. Apparently your immune system changes after giving birth...he's dealt with other women with similar conditions to mine who gave birth and were fully cured! I don't want to take the risk of getting married or having a baby! Living with a man? Are you out of your mind Dr. Sinha? But then he did say that it might be time for a boyfriend...and I think he's right. So all the fellas out there, I am single and looking. Call me!

This post is dedicated to the good times I've been having, the major events. The first of many is Ruqayyah and Chopra's bad-ass Halloween party which took place on October 28th. It was way beyond bad-ass. If you lived in or around Glenwood, this was the party to be at. I was a a good ol' ladybug, flappin' all the haters away with my wings. The wings were huge! I knocked out a lot of people. But aside from that, the two-bedroom apartment was packed. I was literally up against a wall, swayin' my hands in place dancing to "Like a G6." Alcohol, music, decorations, people in ridiculous (some hot) costumes...then it went out of control. Cops, blood, people sex'ing against apartment walls, drunk fights, and the super's wife yelling at the top of her lungs in the middle of the kitchen with her hair wrapped in a bandana of some sort and pajamas. As horrible as all this sounds, I was sober and all this shit was pretty damn hilarious. The apartment complex was covered in blood. And as the boys were fighting outside of the building, heads were poppin' out of windows as if some serious shit was goin' down. Just imagine: fat women and their heads stickin' out. Hahahaaaaaaa. Ruqayyah ended up losing her phone. The party was cut short, way short. Instead of ending at 4am, we barely made it past 1am. We went to bed scared. All windows and doors locked. And we woke up the next day at around 3pm in the afternoon.

November 6, 2010, of course after Sabbath was over, my Jew Crew and I celebrated Danielle's birthday. Her 19th birthday at a lavish kosher restaurant, Orchidea. I've mentioned Tomer in my other posts, but this is probably the first time I'm mentioning Danielle. These two + (Joseph Gotesman) are my favorite Jews. Though Joseph wasn't at this particular event, we still had such an amazing time. Kosher food is pricy and it took me a while to acquire the "kosher taste", but nonetheless, I enjoy my food kosher. (I should've mentioned this in my intro: one must also experience some culture other than his/her own.) So after the long wait, we finally had a table. All starving and ready to eat just about anything. The roll of bread was first but it was our mishap that each time the waiter came around Tomer would sneak the bread away. All to himself. That fatass. And since we went to a "dairy" restaurant, we all had some sort of cheesy food. No meat. For dessert, we had Tomer's favorite, (I know, it's Danielle's birthday, but he runs the show), chocolate cheesecake. I only had one bite, now that I'm on a diet. Hahahaaaaa.
Friends Forever.
After dinner, we went to Bar 4 in Park Slope. Jammed to some hipster/Park Slopian music and drank some booze. I feel so cool typing this right now. And since I still haven't acquired the alcohol taste, I had a fruity drink. Amaretto sour. This drink is soooooo delicious. After about two glasses, I was grinding on Zary...luckily the hour changed that night and instead of getting home at 3am, I got back at 2am. A night to remember.

Tomer, Danielle and I always have spontaneous outings - whether Tomer is in the mood for cheescake at 1am or French onion soup at 2am. Other times we have kosher sushi at 12am and go for some ice cream. November 11th (because it was after 12am) was one of those spontaneous nights. We intended on having cheese cake but ended up ordering French onion soup. (It was the pregnant woman's fault (Tomer!)!) After some really good soup, we were driving around and parked in front of a sex toy shop. On Kings Highway! In front of Jennifer Convertibles! I know. Never knew Brooklyn had those and especially didn't know it was so close to my house! So I was in the mood to fuck around, not literally though! I wanted to laugh and see what the store had. Tomer was anxious. Danielle was ready - car parked and everything. We went in and it was pitch black. I yelled "Hello?" And a man replied from behind the cash register. Of course I wasn't going to buy anything, but I wanted to look around and poke fun at sex toys. Immature. The man turned out to be of "Desi" descent (Pakistani/Bengali/Indian - something). And right away my heart was beating faster, my body temperature was rising - no I was not in love nor was this man cute. I don't know how others feel about this, but when two people of similar cultural background find themselves at a place they really shouldn't be at, the situation becomes really, really awkward. And so I didn't want to laugh at the hanging dildos or strap-ons, I just wanted to go away from the shame. The man kept his eyes on us as he heard us laugh in the beginning and screamed out "21 and older only." Danielle was looking at sexual birthday cards while Tomer was looking up at the ceiling. I began to feel really claustrophobic and everywhere I looked there was way too much sex. Oh my God. And finally we left and I was able to breathe.

I celebrated Eid on November 16th. For those who are confused, this Eid is the second Eid Muslims celebrate. The first one took place 3 months ago. This one basically comes out of the Quran where Abraham is sacrificing his son, Ishmael - but God is just testing his faith, so instead he sacrifices an animal. We pretty much interpret that and sacrifice goat/lamb/sheep/cow and have a big feast. And on these Muslim holidays, I don't go to school, get money from my parents or any other elders, and wear fancy clothes to run the streets of Brooklyn. Hah! Of course, I eat a shitload of food. And I also hang out with my Bengali friends - I don't have that many as being Bengali means being Dramatic. Most Bengalis who I considered my friend in the past have given me nothing but stress and shit. They're good to keep around for the holidays, of course there are exceptions. This Eid I celebrated with Naz, Tareq, Airen, Juhi, and Muntaha. And while I can't disclose most of the information, it was the most memorable Eid ever. Driving in the rain, lookin' for Red Mango because we were in the mood for frozen yogurt...and that's all I'll say. Oh and I'm sick of eating meat now, might be the only time I feel like becoming a vegetarian.

Muntaha, Airen, Juhi and I. Love you girls!
Another month has passed right by and even though this means I am closer to my right hip bone graft surgery, living each day with laughs and crazy adventures has kept me walking and going places. I'm weak but at the same time, stronger than ever. So for those "Oh, I'm so busy with school and work" people out there, take a break and do something crazy. No one has time these days, seriously not a good excuse. Make time for fun bitchesss.

Friday, November 19, 2010

4th Annual Spit Poetry Slam

I haven't written in a while, I know. For the first time ever, I participated in a poetry 'slam' at Brooklyn College (11/18/10) presented by the Omicron Gamma Chapter of Sigma Lambda Beta International Fraternity, Inc. co-sponsored with the Hispanic Society. First off, all of the participants were amazing. And at a school like Brooklyn College it is hard to realize such talent exists. Musicians, singers (who wrote their own songs, and can actually sing!), poets, rappers...I mean, it was an arrangement of talented individuals. I was inspired, in so much fascination, and just obsessing over every piece presented.

My poem was a short one and of course dealt with Lupus. Not depressing, but quite serious. Usually, I'm informal and sarcastic...but this was different. And also this was my first attempt at writing poetry, Lupus-related. I've written some poetry before but never performed. Another wish off my bucket list can be checked off now.

And also at the end of my performance, the hottest performer of the night (he was hot and his performance was my favorite) came and shook my hand and said, "Your piece almost made me cry and I know it came from the heart." Something around those words...but it touched me and I promised Ruqayyah and Chopra that I would never wash my right hand! Ever!

I'm posting the piece here as a memory and for my readers:

To Appreciate
Hi my name is Shahana Hanif
And I have Lupus.
With a noticeable limp, I walk.
And hips.
Bones all gradually decaying.
The mechanisms that keep a body in function. Mine no longer work.
However, this piece is not about me.
It’s about you.
As I walk to class…breathing in the Fall air,
counting the 1, 2, 3 benches,
I stumble upon a rock.
It tickles the heel of my foot as it clenches…
I feel my right knee buckle…
And my hip tries to juggle
That one struggle.
I pause for a moment to catch my breath.
And I look to my left, and I look to my right as everyone around me does not stare.
Still standing, I realize how fast everyone is walking.
With their very somber face. Trying to win this unexplained race.
That was me one day.
Walkin so fast, runnin’ from place to place, not givin’ a damn about anything.
Face serious and all.
And only two years ago the doctor reminded me I should be thankful that I’m living. “You’re alive, be thankful.”
But I didn’t understand her till now.
Why be thankful when you’re limbs are so weak?
When to go up a flight of stairs, to walk one block, to sit, to stand…is of course all that we take for granted.
Can’t run, can’t jog, can’t jump. But you can. You can.
And as I continue walking, I appreciateI appreciate.