I've been a total lazy ass. I sit online for hours and do absolutely nothing. I've become so consumed with Facebook. There's an addictive factor that is so hard to control. I could easily open up this site on another tab and be somewhat productive, but shit, my entire focus is in Facebook. In reality, I am a pretty busy person - to make plans with me, I'd have to check my schedule. You know how it is. Aside from all this junk, I haven't been inspired or motivated to write. You might be wondering what inspired me to write tonight. I am celebrating my two years with Lupus. This disease has given me such new life to celebrate.
Everyone goes through shit. We all endure different levels of pain in different stages of our life. If we didn't, life would definitely be easier to live, but in all optimism, it's good that we suffer. Suffering makes humans human.
Today is the first day of Ramadan. A month devoted to fasting, I'm hoping to make the best of it. Not just in the matters of losing some pounds perhaps, but finding inner peace, patience, and purity. When I was diagnosed with Lupus, also during the time of Ramadan, everyone was fasting and praying. I can't even describe the abundance of people that came to pray by my side. It was such a holy time that I spent in the ICU room. But I didn't realize then and maybe that's why I was in so much distress during my stay. I lost most of my faith in Allah because Lupus was not what I wanted. However, I'm a changed human being, as dramatic as that sounds. I realize the strength of prayers and the strength of Allah. The past two years, with all the ups and downs, have been my favorite two years of life so far.
I know I am not the most religious person ever, but when I find faith or at least an excuse to become spiritual, I feel good inside. Hopefully some day, religion will not be a timely excuse. So, my Muslim and non-Muslim brothers and sisters, rejoice in this month of renewal.