Saturday, May 8, 2010

A Rather Disgusting, but Interesting Turnout.

So, my big toe has been healing for about a month and a half now. Healing from what? Well, my right toe was badly bruised somehow - I can't even recall how. I either pulled a skin or the last pedicure lady pulled out way too much dead skin. Whatever the story, I've been suffering for about 6 months with a swollen toe. I showed my nephrologist, rheumatologist, and primary physician, but what the fuck would they do? They each gave me antibiotics - obviously, not together, in three different periods. But, the toe didn't heal. I tried putting ointments, washing my foot in hot water, leaving the bruise out - nothing healed it. Anyone who saw the toe would tell me, "Something's wrong with your toe." No shit. When going out, I would bandage the toe and that's when it looked normal.

During the time I was looking for a hip/knee specialist, I came across a 'podiatrist' - I guess my doctor gave me a list of random specialists' numbers, but I got lucky. I asked the receptionist what a podiatrist was and she answered, a foot doctor. God works in mysterious ways. It's true.

A foot doctor. They have that? Feet are nasty, I mean seriously, feet. I made a quick appointment even though the quickest appointment was in 3 weeks. Dr. Alex Katz, my podiatrist, was amazing beyond words. He saw my toe and before I explained my situation screamed out, "Oh, you have an ingrown toenail, we'll fix that right now."

What the fuck? An ingrown toenail! My nail, instead of growing outside of the skin, as it normally should, was growing in the inside. Nasty as hell. No wonder my poor toe was so stretched out. Katz numbed my toe with local anesthesia and pretty much cut through the side of my nail and pulled the growing portion out. I sat through my own surgery just staring at my toe, amazed. There was hope for my toe.

Because I have Lupus and many factors are working against me, the healing process is taking longer than expected. However, after my visit last week, Dr. Katz loved the appearance of my toe. A bit weird, but I guess a scabby, black-pigmented-skinned-toe is excellent to podiatrists. I promise, it's not as nasty as it was before. I can wear open sandals now.

One thing I learned from Katz during my last visit was the meaning of FUCK, one of my favorite words. My sister, who accompanied me during the appointment, said "I'm glad her friggin' toe is better." Katz then started questioning her about whether or not she knew the meaning of the word friggin' and it's other usages, i.e., fuck. Apparently, men during the Renaissance era would go "FUCK" - for unknown cardinal knowledge - meaning they would literally go to fuck prostitutes.

I came in to the podiatrist's office without any knowledge about ingrown toenails and all, and who knew I would come out so educated? I just can't wait to be a doctor now!

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